Town that time forgot

It seems that there is a group in Front Royal, VA seems determined to drag the town back a few centuries...

A group called 'Local Catholics of Front Royal' have a local bakery in their cross-hairs. Naughty Girls Donut Shop is a bakery that is in the theme of 1940's pin-up girls and rockabilly. And this enterprise is actually run and owned by 16 year old Tiana Ramos... Yeah, you read that right, she's 16!

So what do they have against something as amazing as a 16 year old running their own business? They think that the name, logo and decor just aren't vanilla enough it would seem. LCoFR say Naughty Girls promotes promiscuous behavior... somehow. They claim that the girls uniforms make them all look like hussies. Sorry, but they are dressed in rockabilly-style clothing. Perhaps that could have been considered risque in the 1950's, but this is 2014 for crying out loud. I see people dressed far more revealingly just about every day.

To fight this terrible scourge facing their town, Catholic group stuck way in the past has done the wonderful things listed below...

•Threw trash at the front door.
•Yelled 'Naughty girls burn in Hell'.
•Posted many negative reviews on Yelp that had nothing to do with the food of service.
•Also harassed the shops twitter and facebook pages.
•Claim that everyone that works there is a slut. 
•Sent out a letter calling for local businesses to boycott the shop.

How very Christian of them... Also, most of these conservative groups yell about protecting job creators. So why are they trying to run one out of town? I can tell you, if this girl has a successful business at 16, she's only going to be creating more and more jobs.

As much as this Paleolithic Catholic group wishes to demonize Tiana, the facts speak much better of her. She was awarded a full scholarship to the Culinary Institute of America, she gave $28,000 to help local businesses, $2,000 to give away school backpacks, and $1,000 to local churches. Tiana says that they aren't going anywhere. They are there to give kids a place to go that isn't still in the silent film era. And the cool part is that their website will soon take orders, so you may be able to support her that way. If I'm ever in the area, I know I'll be stopping by.

How does this look scream dirty slut,
because I'm just not seeing it...

But this isn't the first time dinosaur Catholics of Front Royal raised a fuss. Just last month a shop in Front Royal that is owned by a self described Pagan priestess and gave tarot card readings was their last target. Primordial Catholics referenced a 1920's law that banned the 'magical arts' in Front Royal. An odd complaint when the Catholic church says that the communion wafers and wine literally turn into the body and blood of Christ. That sounds like magic to me. Not to mention they worship the 1st century equivalent of David Copperfield.

They claimed that they opposed the shop out of fear of Satanism. Apparently they are too ignorant to understand that Paganism is not Satanism. They were also citing concern that 'these types' of shops attract a criminal element. Really? Kind of like the criminal element of old white dudes raping little boys? That sounds like a lot bigger deal than a nonsense card reading to me. But the shop windows were vandalized with spray paint anyway. Luckily reason prevailed, and the town voted to overturn the ban on magical nonsense.

Ah, and I did mention the Catholic sex abuse problem didn't I? Well proto-Earth Catholics also tried to target a local paper under allegations that they published anti-Catholic articles. What they did was publish articled covering the Catholic child sex abuse controversy. Sorry, but covering something that actually happened is not anti-Catholic. If you don't want people writing about priests raping kids, your priests should really consider not raping kids...



-Brain Hulk

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