Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Door to door nonsense (again)

Why do I always seem to miss the door to door proselytizers? My wife and I returned from the market to find a Bible tract stuffed in the door. Per usual, it's the usual nonsense that fails the test of logic and picks and chooses from the Bible. Let's take a look...

Hear ye the Word of the LORD God:

"Know ye not that the unrighteous SHALL NOT inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators (sexual relations before marriage), nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind (sodomites), Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards (all who drink beer, wine, or strong drink), nor revilers (those who curse God's name), nor extortioners."
(1 Corinthians 6:9, 10)

"DO NOT drink wine nor strong drink." (Lev. 10:9)
Wine is SO bad, that Jesus even made it.
Really now? This is so the first time I've heard these claims. You've sure convinced me... The trouble is that these claims simply don't even make sense in reality, nor their Bible. Sex before marriage? I fail to see the problem. In fact, I feel that saving sex until after marriage may be a factor in why divorce is more common among believers than non-believers. And if you actually know your Bible, it only has a problem with premarital sex for women. The Bible doesn't actually have a problem with men having sex, just women. Why? Because it treats virgin women as a commodity that can be sold. Disgusting!

The effeminate? Really? Um, that's just how some people are. Some guys are just more effeminate by their nature. If you believe that God creates people, are you actually claiming that God is going to punish people for being how he 'created' them? I have a newsflash for you. I'm sure you don't like homosexuality, but being effeminate does not automatically equal 'gay'.

So... All who drink any alcohol at all are damned? You first mention the word 'drunkard' and then define it as 'all who drink wine, beer, etc'. Sorry, but a glass a wine a week or a isolated beer after a long day does not make one a 'drunkard'. Also, if all who drink any alcohol are damned, I guess Noah is damned... Lot is damned... Jesus personaly turned water into wine for people to drink and didn't seem to have any problem with it... The Catholic church I belonged to involved wine as part of the rite of communion. So I guess all Catholics are damned then?

But you missed some:

•All that eat shellfish are damned. (Leviticus 11:10)
•All that eat pork products are damned. (Leviticus 11:8)
•Play football with a real 'pig-skin'? Damned! (Leviticus 11:8)
•Round haircut or trimmed beard? See you in hell! (Leviticus 19:27)
•Hey, that Jesus tattoo is going to look bad-ass in hell. (Leviticus 19:28)
•That gold cross you're wearing looks like it cost a lot. But it will also cost you eternity. (1 Timothy 2:9)
Irony: It look like this!
•Mixed fabric clothing? Sure, that poly-cotton blend will burn real nice in hell! (Leviticus 19:19)
•Hey girls? Accidentally try on a 'men's' T-shirt? Damned! Same probably goes for women's business attire that doesn't look effeminate enough... (Deuteronomy 22:5) Gender roles, much?

Also, I find it sad that you are blind to the might of Odin. You have mocked him and turned your back on the gods of Asgard. You will never see Valhalla, and will therefore be doomed and be cast into Helheim for your sins!
Do any of these sins describe your life? You may be mocking God and laughing now at your sin; but you will not be laughing when God judges you!
 And you won't be laughing when Odin, Allah, or Krishna judge you.
"But know thou, that for all these things (sins), God will bring thee into judgement." (Ecc. 11:9)
"Be not deceived ; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap!" (Galations 6:7)
"For the wages of sin is Death." (Romans 6:23)
Sorry to be a buzz-kill, but death awaits all... 'sin' or no 'sin'. Don't forget that Horus will judge thee as well. He will not be mocked! And if all sow what they reap, I'd be very worried if I was a Christian who actually follows the Bible to the word. Hate to break it to you, but it is far from a happy and friendly book...
"The wicked shall be turned into Hell, and all the nations that forget God." (Psalms 9:17)
"Take him away, and cast him into outer darkness." (Matthew 22:13)
And all the Christians and other unbelievers will be cast into Helheim, Duat, or Hades. Guess you better convert to Norse, Egyptian, and Greek now.
God does not want you to perish in your sins, but to Repent of them!
"As I live saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die?" (in your sins) (Ezekiel 33:11)
Okay, if he doesn't want me to 'perish in sin', maybe he should just forgive me then. Evil ways? Pardon, but I don't worship a god that demanded animal sacrifices, has a genocidal streak a mile wide, hates people for ridiculously arbitrary reasons, and demands you be party to a ritual human sacrifice. How is living a life that is more moral, honest, and introspective than any believer I've ever run across 'evil'?
Dear sinner friend, will you forsake your sins and flee to the lord Jesus Christ for mercy and pardon?
Will you flee to Odin to forsake your sins? Also, presumptive much? You leave this on a random door, proclaiming me and everyone else that you left this for to be 'sinners'. You do not know me, but if you follow the Bible as closely as this tract would suggest, I can guarantee that I'm more moral than the god it claims is morally superior to all.
"Christ died for the ungodly.: (Romans 5:6)
Thor gave his life to rid the worlds of the demon serpent Jörmungandr. Praise be to Thor!
Forgiveness of sins is in Him alone! "It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God" (Romans 8:34)
"In Whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace." - "Through faith in His blood." (Ephesians 1:7, Romans 3:25)
Let me get this straight... One glass of wine a month = bad, but glorifying a disgusting, barbaric and unnecessary human sacrifice = awesome! Do I have that correct? If so, I really think you need rethink a few things. Like, why does all forgiveness need to come through belief in Jesus and his 'sacrifice'? Wouldn't it be better and more fair to reward those that are good people and punish genuinely bad people irrespective of belief? Oh, and Jesus' 'sacrifice' was far less impressive than Thor's. Jesus knew he would rise again, Thor knew he wouldn't. So Thor made the bigger sacrifice.
Christ died as a sacrifice for sinners on Calvary's cross where He shed for the remission of your sins! He paid your sin debt with His precious blood! Christ was buried and rose again the third day. He is alive forevermore! And now in heaven He waits "to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by Him, seeing He ever liveth." (Hebrews 7:25)
So the Bible says anyway... The trouble is, there is no proof that the Bible is true. Also, there's the problem that the traits ascribed to Jesus were also ascribed to Mithra and other gods before they were associated with Jesus. And again, what's with glorifying a barbaric practice that isn't even necessary? Also, transferred punishment is itself a highly immoral idea that doesn't actually right any 'wrongs'. Remember, Thor died for us all, and so did a star!
Will you come now to Christ Jesus with your sins, desiring to be forgiven and cleansed from all of them? Will you put your faith in trust in His blood to save you from your sins? If you will, Christ will reach down in merciful loving kindness to forgive your sins by His grace - for His blood can make the vilest sinner clean!
And before you try and claim that the Bible is proof of Jesus, let this picture sink in.
 I don't know... Will you follow Allah, and ask to be forgiven and cleansed? Will you come to know Odin, Zeus, or Ganesh? I also find this fixation on blood rather disturbing... But you want to know if I will come to Jesus and follow him as I once did. Fair question I suppose... But tell me why I should follow him above Odin, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or none at all. Show me proof that Jesus is real and that the Bible is true, and we can talk. Until then, there's no value in your claims, or weight in your
If however, you choose to hold onto your sins and to follow this world's crown, then be assured of this one thing - you will die in your sins!
 And? Everyone dies, even believers. Sure you like to pretend there's another life. But there's no proof that there is, so why waste my one and only life wishing for another. 
And do remember, there are NO PARTIES IN HELL - only fire torment, weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth, "Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched." (Mark 9:44)
True, there are no parties in Hell... but that's because there is no Hell. But if there was one, it will be far more interesting since the greatest minds and entertainers are all supposedly there or going there. And if it is real, how do we know what it's like? I mean, we've only heard it described from one biased perspective. What if Lucifer's down there aware that God is talking shit about Hell, and is like "If you're going to talk like that I'm going to be the bigger man and not even dignify that with a response." Hey, you never know. And what if Hell is like you say, how is it going to be torment? My 'soul' supposedly leaves my body and goes to Hell to be burned. But pain requires a physical body with physical nerve endings. So if I'm not in my body, there's nothing to feel pain.
Choose you this day whom YOU will serve: Satan and his crowd, or your Creator, the Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Lord God of Heaven, Who loved you and gave Himself for you on the cross. Your eternal destiny (in Hell fire or in Heaven) will be determined by the decision you make!! Now, what will YOU do with JESUS?

"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and though shalt be saved!" (Acts 16:30) ... "he that believeth not shall be damned." (Mark 16:16)
What about the other options? What if I decide to serve Odin to find my way to Valhalla?  What if I choose neither side? You talk as if it is a well established choice between Jesus and Satan. It's not! The fact is that their existence is just as unverified as that of Thor, Poseidon, Helios, Athena, and all other gods and goddesses through the ages. Until a god is proven, I will take NO sides. What if I were to ask you which side YOU will serve? Horus or Set? Your future depends on you making the right choice! Oh, and by that way, saying 'Satan and his crowd', just makes you sound profoundly silly.
"Look unto Me , and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there in none else." (Isaiah 45:22)

"And him that cometh to ME (Christ) I will in no wise cast out." (John 6:37)
Translation = Hitler (Christian) is in Heaven! That's a major problem with this supposedly perfect plan for salvation. You can have a monster like Hitler receive eternal reward. Yet someone as humble as Gandhi is damned to hell, and so will the greatest philanthropist in the world (Bill Gates). This tells us that justice is of no concern, and only blindly obedient followers are what's desired. Again, if you want justice, forgive on people's nature, not their beliefs.

This laughable tract was from:

Fundamentalist Baptist Church
146 South Potomac St.
Hagerstown, MD 21740

Come to think of it... Why were they out doing this on a Saturday? It is the original Sabbath day after all, so shouldn't they stay in like 'good believers'?

 -Brain Hulk

Please share, subscribe, comment and follow us on your favorite social networking sites!
facebook | google+ | twitter


  1. Wow, you come across as hateful, ignorant, and petty, all at once. Kudos. Hitler's the man that every moron jumps to when they want to make an argument, and for those that actually study history, he was not affiliated with either party. You might want to put some actual thought into your arguments in the future, and try proof-reading your articles. If you're actually interested in not being regarded as a joke.

    1. "Wow, you come across as hateful, ignorant, and petty, all at once. Kudos."

      How is that exactly? All I did was point out errors in the pamphlets arguments and also showed that many of them where so poor that they can be turned around on themselves.

      "Hitler's the man that every moron jumps to when they want to make an argument, and for those that actually study history, he was not affiliated with either party."

      So I plucked Hitler out as an example. So sue me. I used him as an example since he's the go-to example most Christians tend to use. We could replace Hitler with any other Christian murderer in history. Regardless of the example used, the argument against the flaws of Christian 'justice' still stand.

      I fail to see how quibbling over the example weakens the argument any, or how indirectly calling me a moron is in any way productive. As for him not being 'affiliated with either party' I assume you're claiming he wasn't a Christian? If that's your claim, the likelihood that he was a Christian of some ilk is pretty damn strong.

      "You might want to put some actual thought into your arguments in the future,"

      And where are my arguments bad? Perhaps you didn't pick up on the fact that in many cases in this blog, I was using the arguments in the tract against itself to show how poor they are. So if you have a problem with many of the counters in here, you are actually in disagreement with the Christian arguments, not me.

      "and try proof-reading your articles. If you're actually interested in not being regarded as a joke."

      Ah, and another personal dig... And you are calling me hateful. But yes, I had some spelling and grammar errors in there. I write most of these just before going to bed, so that fact doesn't surprise me. But if that is your chief dig, that's scraping the bottom of the barrel. Care to step past the name calling and instead have a try at the actual arguments instead Spric92? Actually elaborate why any of this is a 'joke' if you can, instead of just offering some dismissive comments and a few more insults.