Monday, June 15, 2015

Break Time?

Last week I posted only one blog, and other than this update there probably won't be any this week. The most immediate reason being that I am dealing with a strained and stiff right hand due to what was apparently too much yard work. So the entirety of this had to be typed only using my left hand.

Other than that though, I haven't really been feeling up to writing much lately. My job has been stressing me out beyond belief. Despite not having a very physical job, I find myself coming home exhausted most night. This means that the weekends end up needing to be a time of recharging rather than one of enjoyment for the most part. Considering the fact that I write these almost exclusively on the weekends, these tired weekends have left me without the time or desire to write like I used too.

So I surmise that I will have to scale my posting back even further (my book remains nameless and coverless, but at least it is at the waiting for edits stage...) , or even take a break. How long this will last is anyone's guess because, quite frankly, I hate my job. I dread going in each day. The environment is beyond toxic. The stress, stupidity, and incompetence I face regularly have left me feeling empty on any given work day (possibly even entering depression at times). Sadly, I can not afford to just leave, and there are no viable alternatives for me to move on to in this area. Two years looking, and I'm still there...

But then this all gets more complicated. I hate my job, but this job has caused me to no longer enjoy the career that I once loved. There is no more drive or desire left in the tank when I think of the projects I once loved undertaking. Just the other week I took on what used to be by far my favorite task. But it was just another job that felt like work. This was a realization that answered a question I've been asking myself for a while. Do I just hate this current situation, or is it more than that? The sad answer is that the passion is now gone. The career I choose over more lucrative paths due to the enjoyment factor is now nothing to me.

So I guess now not only do I need a new job, but a new career. That only complicates things so much more since I can't afford to go back to school. That's it I guess. Unappreciated, underpaid, and stressed the hell out... Now if you see me not posting as much, or not at all, you know why. But  while you're here, anyone know any minimum 50k dollar jobs a fast learner can jump right into without having to go back to school?

-Brain Hulk

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