A redneck Christmas email?

We've all heard the 'you might be a redneck, if' jokes before. But this email decided to take a holiday spin on it, and claim redneck superiority. Let's take a look...

I MUST BE A REDNECK ... This is not the type of Redneck jokes we normally hear.

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of . If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Y'all know who ya are...................

 I am most definitely not a redneck. Though I do know and are friends with people who would proudly describe themselves as such. Home, family and country sound fine to me, but I have to step off the trolly at 'God'. As for who I'd like to back me up against terrorists, I'm not going to discriminate. I'll take any backup I can get!

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God..'

Um... the 'under God' part is not challenged because of offense. I couldn't care less if someone wishes to utter that phrase. While I don't believe, it doesn't offend me any. However, 'under God' being part of the Pledge is unconstitutional. I'd be equally against the pledge saying 'under Allah', or under no god'. It's about legality, not offense.

That awkward moment when every conservative's
favorite president doesn't agree with their agenda.

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

 This depends  on what you mean by 'public'. If a church or private residence wishes to post the Commandments, I haven't a slightest issue with it. But if they are posted on government property, it becomes a problem. If there is a Ten Commandments monument at a courthouse, public school, or state capitol it is a violation of church/state separation, unless they also post monuments of other faiths as well. The government can't play favorites on religion. That's the law, like it or not.

You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

Whats wrong with other greetings? Personally, I wish people a good holiday in different ways. If I know they are celebrating Christmas, I'll wish them a Happy Christmas. If I know they're Jewish, I'll wish then a Happy Hanukkah. If I don't know, I'll say Happy Holidays. I'll also simply accept whatever greeting someone greets me with. No self-righteous correction needed. After all, I am celebrating a holiday that is Christian in name only, and is really just a conglomeration of Pagan traditions to honor the Winter Solstice. The problem is when some Christians demand that Merry Christmas should be the only greeting allowed to be uttered.

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.

Definitely not a 'redneck' then. When I'm at a dinner and someone wants to say grace, I'm usually one of the only ones looking around to see what other secret non-believers may be present.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem

This one, I do. But that's not an exclusively redneck trait. So does that really make me somewhat 'redneck'?

You might be a redneck if:You treat our armed forces
veterans with great respect, and always have.

Same as the last answer...

You might be a redneck if:You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

Fold... reduce to ashes... bury. Such is the official code for
disposing of a tattered and worn US flag.

 I have, and will probably have to again. You see, US flag code dictates that once an American flag is
worn, the proper way to dispose of it is to fold it properly, then burn it. So is following the rules of the flag somehow unpatriotic? If the author who wrote this email never burned a flag, they either don't fly the flag much, or have been disposing of them improperly.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

 Don't most people do this? I know I tend to.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
Some of you are so old you don't have elders to respect.

No kids here, but I do respect my elders. But I don't see how this is an indication for if you are a 'redneck' or not.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

My very last dollar? How good of a friend are you talking about here?

You might be a redneck if: You believe in God & Jesus and believe that others have the right to believe differently as long as their God does not tell them to kill anyone who does not believe the same as they do!!!!!

Wait... a redneck has to believe in God and Jesus, but believe they don't think they should have the right to believe in the Christian god? After-all, the god of the Bible routinely commanded the slaughter those that weren't his chosen people. Not to mention the Crusades and Inquisition... This is a shot at Islam, of course. Yet there are those that are Muslim and practice it peacefully. Personally, I do not believe in God or Jesus. And while I don't agree with many religions, I live in the United States. And in this country, we all have the right to believe and worship any religion we wish.
Freedom of religion is good for us all.

If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough Red Neck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.

God Bless the USA !

 Actually, I got this email because of a long line of forwards. Personally, I'm not sure why anyone decided to send this along to me.

Keep the fire burning, redneck friend. It is totally acceptable and might save our Country!!!!

IN GOD WE TRUST!

God is still on the throne, and prayer changes things!

Maybe some trust in God, but I'm not one of them. I'll keep my fire burning though, and my 'redneck' friends can keep theirs burning. It takes all types, and that's what makes this country great. What's so wrong with that?



-Brain Hulk

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