The accuracy of God

It's been a while, but here's a chain email that is passed off as perfect proof of just how brilliant God is. Yet most of the stats are just plain wrong... No surprise there.

How Great Is Our God!!!

This is cool! Can't imagine counting grains of wheat.
How Great is our God! Our Creator and Redeemer . . . and do we THINK
about it ?God's accuracy may be observed in the hatching of eggs.. . .
. .For example: the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days; those of
the canary in 14 days; those of the barnyard hen in 21 days; The eggs of
ducks and geese hatch in 28 days; those of the mallard in 35 days; the
eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days. (Notice, they are
all divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!)

Cute... But wrong. Lets take a look at some actual stats or egg gestation.

House Fly = 1 day
Monarch Butterfly = 4 days
Mosquito = 7-1,825 days
Pigeon = 10-18 days
Finch = 11-14 days
Quail = 16-21 days
Cotumix (Japanese) Quail = 17 days
Parrot = 17-31 days
Chicken = 21-23 days
Chukar Partridge = 23-34 days
Pheasant = 24 days
Grouse = 25 days
Goose = 25-28 days

Mallard = 26.5-27 days
Duck = 27-28 days
Swan = 33-36 days
Eagle = 35-36 days
Ostrich = 35-45 days
Platypus = 38 days
Emu = 42-50 days

Funny... When you don't cherry pick and make up data, you suddenly end up with a much different picture. Looks like lying for Jesus is in full gear in this email. But... Thou shalt not bear false witness?

God's wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant. The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made. God planned that this animal would have a hugebody, too large to live on two legs. For this reason He gave it four fulcrumsso that it can rise from the ground easily.

The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first. A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first. How wise the Lord is in all His works of creation!

Funny, those rear legs sure don't look like they're bending
forward to me.

Why do Elephants have four legs rather than two? The reason is a little thing called evolution. Also, all four of an elephant's legs don't bend forward (at the knee) as claimed. The rear legs have a fairly normal range of motion. The front limbs do bend forward rather noticeably though. Legs that bend forward are not at all uncommon in the animal kingdom either. But where do forward bending legs come from? Again, it's a product of evolution. Also, elephants rise just like horses and other quadrupeds. Watch a nature documentary and you will see that the order is front first, and back second.

God's wisdom is revealed in His arrangement of sections and segments, as well as in the number of grains.

-Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind.

What about that is surprising or spectacular?  If you are counting the light and dark stripes, then anything other than an even number is impossible in such a binary system. But even if you are counting only one shade of stripe, it's still a binary pattern where even would be the only possible result. It's simple math...

-Each orange has an even number of segments.

Well, except for the oranges with an odd number of segments...

Nine segments. Always even, huh?

-Each ear of corn has an even number of rows. 

Usually, but not always.

-Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains.

Research the golden ratio and get back to me...

-Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of
bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even
number and the next rowan odd number.

Wild or common bananas? Because the bananas you see in your local store look unrecognizable from wild bananas. Mankind has selectively bred them to be that way. As for even/odd sequences... Our numeric system is always odd, even, odd, even, odd, etc. Is that magically amazing too even though that we made it and not some supposed deity?

-The waves of the sea roll in on shore twenty-six to the minute in all
kinds of weather.

This isn't even remotely true.

-All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks, and the Lord
specified thirty fold, sixty fold, and a hundred fold all even numbers.

I really don't think one should brag on God having great math skills.

1 Kings 7:23 gives 3 as the value of Pi.

Ezra 1:9-11 lists numbers and claims them to total 5,400, but actually adding them gets you a total of 2,499.

Ezra 2:65 lists numbers and claims them to total 42,360, but actually adding them gets you a total of 29,818.

Nehemiah 7:66 lists numbers and claims them to total 42,360, but actually adding them gets you a total of 31,089.

If God can't do simple math, what makes you think he could figure out division?

True story: My wife loves Morning Glories.

God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day. Linnaeus, the great botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory containing the right kind of soil, moisture and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by the flowers that were open and those that were closed!

Once more, evolution in action.

The lives of each of you may be ordered by the Lord in a beautiful way for His glory, if you will only entrust Him with your life. If you try to regulate your own life, it will only be a mess and a failure. Only the One Who made the brain and the heart can successfully guide them to a profitable end.

I HOPE YOU FIND THIS AS FASCINATING AS I DID.

 I wouldn't say that I found this fascinating so much as disheartening that anyone actually believes this to be a factual and compelling email. I weep for the future.

The Bible
When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache, when you open it, he collapses, when he sees you reading it, he loses his strength, AND when youstand on the Word of God, Satan can't hurt you! And did you also know...

What about when I as an atheist read the Bible to show believers what is actually in their book since they don't tend to read it for themselves? And speaking of headaches, all the misinformation in this email gave me one. Research people! It's not that hard to do.

When you are about to forward this email to others, the devil will probably try to discourage you, but do it anyway.

Oh I'll forward this alright, but not in the way the believers want me to. Amended version sent out in T-minus...



-Brain Hulk

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