Friday, December 6, 2013

Flea-bag boatel

I've written about the story of Noah's Ark not once, but twice prior. But I will now revisit it once more. That is because the story of Noah and the flood still believed by many Christians, even though it's so incredibly fragile. So fragile in fact, that it can be dismantled by something about 2mm in size... The common flea.

The flea is a parasite of course. It feeds on the blood of birds and mammals. And if the story of
Noah's Ark is to be believed, there would have been plenty on the Ark. There are over 10,000 different species of bird, and over 5,000 of different mammal species on Earth. Not only that, but we are told to believe that they (and all the other species on Earth) were represented on the Ark. All cooped up in the impossibly tight confines for a full year.

But if all species were represented, that means that the flea was as well. Lets look at the pesky little flea for a moment. As anyone that has pets may know, if you find yourself with a flea problem, it can be quite difficult to control. Fleas can lay up to 50 eggs a day. This means that by time you realize you have fleas, there could be hundreds or thousands of eggs scattered around your home. And when you do see the fleas, they can be hard to kill. They have quite robust bodies, so your pet scratching usually won't harm them. If you pick them off your pet, you also can't just squish them. You will need to press them against a hard surface with your fingernail until you hear a snap to be sure it is dead. So the best defense against fleas is a good offense. Applying flea treatment to your pets to kill them before they get a foothold, is the safest path to take.

But they didn't have topical flea medications in the time that Noah's flood is claimed to have taken place. And this is a very big deal. Remember, the flea can lay up to 50 eggs a day over their lifespan. Under ideal conditions, the entire flea life-cycle from egg to adult can take as little as 8 days. Given ideal conditions and assuming that male and female fleas are hatched in equal proportion, flea populations will skyrocket. If we start with one flea, we may have 25 female fleas in ten days. After 20 days, there could be 625 females. After a month, there could be 15, 625 females.

That's a lot of fleas. But that is just one month's of that very first breeding day. Suppose that first flea layed eggs at the same rate for that same 30 day period. Suddenly, or product from that first month may be as many as 468,750 female fleas. That is just the product of one month of optimal breeding... something that would be likely, given how packed the Ark would have been. But worse yet, the journey included a whole year at sea, once the 40 days and nights or rain had ceased. To further compound things, there are several different species of flea. So if all species were on board, our one month product could be much higher than that, considering that there are an estimated 2,500 different species of fleas! 1,171,875,000 possible female fleas from 30 days of breeding!

The lack of chemical poisons, and the cooped conditions would create a buffet for the fleas and their dramatically increasing numbers. This is a very real danger. Fleas bite and suck blood. In small numbers, this is more of an annoyance that anything else. When they aren't transmitting disease, the result is usually itchy welts were the host was bitten.

But in the numbers we would be looking at on the Ark, the dangers are much more serious. In large numbers, fleas can suck so much blood that the host becomes anemic. Anemia can cause a wide range of symptoms. Weakness, fatigue, dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath, low blood pressure, heart issues and impaired neurological development. And in extreme cases death is a very real possibility to those suffering extreme anemia. Something that would likely be the case if we are to believe the Bible's flood story.

So after one year at sea, the Bile says that the Ark found land, and everyone got off safe and sound. No mention of the lesions covering the animals. No stories of how damn itchy Noah and his family
We'd be dead if we were on the Ark. :(
were the whole time. And magically, none of the species that would have been suffering from crippling anemia ended up dying (unless that's their explanation for there not being any unicorns)? Sorry, but that's just too much to swallow. The truth is that if there was an Ark, and fleas where on it, there are very many species that simply would not have survived the journey. Finding death at the hands of a legion of 2mm vampires.

There is actually very much wrong with the flood story, that easily shows it to be no more than a primitive myth. But I find it humorous, that something as little as a flea, can sink that ship.

-Brain Hulk

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