Wednesday, September 25, 2013

8 reasons college is bad for women

On September 8th, Raylan Alleman published an article titled "6 Reason to NOT Send Your Daughters to College". He later amended the list to bring the total to 8 'reasons'. Alleman is a writer for the Catholic website 'Fix the Family'. Lets look at his list shall we...
Listen up while I tell you little women what to do.
1) She will attract the wrong types of men.
Alleman says that by going to college, the woman is setting herself up to attract lazy men who are only interesting in using her income to supplement his, or for him to strait up live of of her income so that he doesn't have to work.  Talk about having no respect for the judgement ability of women. So these girls that you described as smart are still too stupid to realize someone is trying to take advantage of them. Sure there may be some men that are just looking to be mothered, but it's far less that Allerman seems to think it is. Also, what of all the successful relationships that are formed in college. Did those people that met there, married and are still happily so victims of attracting the wrong type of people as well. And what of Catholic colleges. I'm sure Allerman would be fine with a Catholic gay, meeting a Catholic girl. But that would just be a double standard.

Raylan additionally states that 'men are supposed to be the providers'. Sexist much? Why the old outdated need to reinforce gender rolls such as this. He's saying that the man needs to be the big strong breadwinner, while the woman is supposed to be there helpless just to be taken care care of and serve when asked to. No thank you. What if a woman has a career she loves, and the man stays home and takes care of the kids? What if he has an unconventional job? Maybe she loves her job, and he's a novelist. Both are happy in their positions, and working to the good of their family. And forcing her to leave a job she loves, and him to do one he doesn't would actually likely hurt the family in the long run. How about having some respect for the men and women in those situations instead of demanding antiquated sexist roles.

Then for good measure Alleman reiterates that going to college 'just in case' is the perfect recipe for creating an endless cycle of attracting lazy bums.
2) She will be in a near occasion of sin.
 He basically says that  kids in collage are no longer under the watchful eye of their parents so they just can't help themselves and will almost always give in to the temptation of sex sex sex. He makes it sound like college is some sort of giant orgy. Funny, it wasn't like that to me... but then again he's talking about women. So let's ask my wife... Nope, no wild random sex hiding behind every corner for her either. Why not trust the judgement of these young people instead of assuming that it's all party party party as soon as daddy and mommy aren't looking. Maybe he watches too many collage films. Sorry to be the one breaking the news, but the off the wall fraternity member is NOT your average college attendee.

Alleman also insinuates that this is a much bigger problem in secular schools than Catholic schools. But is it though. Studies have shown that youths that pledge abstinence and those that don't tend to have sex at the same rate regardless of what they pledged. However, the abstinence only pledges where much more likely to not use protection when they did end up having sex. This leads to more unattended (and unwed) pregnancies among the girls who promised abstinence  than those who didn't. So if anything, the 'problem' is probably actually worse at Catholic schools.

Also, what about online college? How will they be 'tempted' within the walls of their own home? Especially if they are still living at home.
3) She will not learn to be a wife of mother.
Well, at least Alleman isn't trying to hide his sexism anymore. Hate to break it to you, but women aren't 'for' staying at home to be nice little obedient homeworkers and push out kids. And so what if college doesn't teach you how to be a mom. In my experience, it's our parents that teach us what we need to know in order to be parents. We also learn valuable lessons throughout life that will mold the type of parent we'd like to be. But does college not reinforcing sexist gender roles somehow make it a sinister place? No, not at all! In fact it can empower women to succeed things that they couldn't otherwise. And what about those that go to college for child care? I'd count that as something that would be helpful to a new mother. Who cares if they went so that they could teach or open a day care? Despite the reasons for attending, the knowledge could be useful. Also, college does not diminish the work of a stay at home mom. The work hard, and so does the career woman. Some do one out of will, and some do one out of necessity.

And what about single women that are not mothers. Are they supposed to just work low paying jobs that barely allow them to make ends meet? What's so wrong with a single woman that wants to be successful? It instead sounds as if you think they should sit around waiting for prince charming to sweep them away and knock them up. Until then, tough it out until a big strong man comes to rescue you, you weak little woman. Ah, fairytale sexism.
4) The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup.
 Can't really disagree with that. College costs are getting way out of control. There's a problem though... More and more, even entry level jobs are asking applicants to have a college degree. So youths are faced with the decision to:  A) Work a low paying job. B) Find someone to help take care of them. or C) Go get the education needed to get the job they want and hope it won't take too long to pay back the loans. I'm going to guess that Raylan would favor B... Girls should just find a successful man to provide for them (sexist). But what about the single woman that is in need of money to help her live her life? Should she just stalk any rich guy and get him to marry her, or should she do whatever she can to get a job that pays well, and eventually marry out of love rather than necessity?
5) You don't have to prove anything to the world.
 Correct. But most don't go to college just to prove a point. I agree that those that go just to show off, aren't going for the right reasons. For me, and most others, college is about learning and bettering oneself.  Alleman also claims that feminism teaches that women need to have a job and provide financially to be of any worth. I know that Halloween is getting closer, but your straw man is still a bit early. Feminism doesn't tech that at all. All it is really saying is that women should have the same opportunities as men have, and that their gender shouldn't dictate what jobs and rights they can and can't have.

 Additionally, college doesn't necessarily lock women into careers. I have friends (women) who went to college and worked a job. Met their husband and for a while they both worked. Then they became parents and she decided to stay home and raise their children. Then later on one decided to go into a different field of work part time when the kids were older. So no, they aren't forced to work. But let me ask, if you are so upset with the prospect of girls being forced to work, why are you not outraged with forcing girls to be stay at home baby factories?
6) It could be an occasion of near sin for the parents.
He reiterates that college can be expensive and that because of this parents may try to have less children so there will be less kids to send to college. They may even use contraception, get sterilized or utilize other means of avoiding a pregnancy while still having sex. Apparently sex is no more than a utilitarian process for creating children for Alleman. What about the love and the passion? So what if someone doesn't want to have children (for whatever reasons)? That's their right. It's as if he's reducing marriage to a baby making contract, rather than one of love and devotion. Yes, maybe many Catholics think that birth control is a sin. But you know what, there are those that don't. And as a former Catholic and active non-believer, I just think the idea that using a condom is sinful is ridiculously silly and quite outdated. Yup, God really cares about what I do with my gentiles, but couldn't care less about starving kids in Africa...

He then repeats that girls probably don't need a collage degree since most will wind up being mothers anyway. You hear that? Don't take chances or even try to better yourself. Just know your place and be a mother like you're supposed to. How quaint...
7) She will regret it.
 What!? I's sorry, but I've never met a woman that said she regretted getting an education. Quite the contrary! If anything, I've heard them say that they would have regretted NOT going to college. Alldeman claims that many women went to college to receive approval from feminists. Sure, I've heard of the odd person (usually a guy) that said they went to get the approval of their parents. But the majority have gone for themselves.

He also claims that women will regret college because their careers mean less time with family and not enough time to have more kids. Really? News to me. My mom stayed at home and my dad worked. Alternatively, my wife was raised by a single mother for large spells of her life. Both situations have their benefits and challenges. But I wouldn't say that my wife's mother was doing anything inherently wrong. She was doing the best she could within her situation. At that point in her life she had no college education to help her along. So finances were often tight. Sacrifices had to be made, and it was tough. In my wife's case things worked out okay. But many others aren't so lucky. But even in the face of how tough this can be, you'd sooner toss a woman into a cycle of low paying scraping by, rather than having them get an education and maybe make life easier for themselves (and their children).

I also find it funny that Raylan says that the working woman will regret not having more children. But do you know what I think would cause many to regret? A family relying on one income that just cranks out more children than they can afford to care for. They are then left having to either go into debt or give the children less of a life than they could have had, had the parents been responsible about their procreation. I would suggest another option... Like the wife also working to help out, but we already know your position... The wife belongs in the kitchen home. Forget those silly ideas of working and being anything more than baby factory who's purpose is to do little more than to submit to her man.
8) It could interfere with a religious vocation.
 And so could  NOT going to college. Remember, more and more jobs (even entry level) require a college degree anymore. Plus, I'm sure that going to a Catholic college or university probably looks good on a religious job application.

Why the odd desire to seemingly hold girl back from being all they can be, or obstructing them from learning the tools they may need to better their life no matter what situation they find themselves in?
This is not a list of why college is bad for women... It's a list of how little Raylan Alleman thinks of women and his desire to control the actions of others.

 -Brain Hulk

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