Seek God's will before you make important decisions
DEAR BILLY GRAHAM: I got a new job and moved to a big city because I thought it would be exciting to be around so much activity, but I’ve never been so lonely. I haven’t made even one friend here. Why did God let me make such a big mistake? — Z.P.
DEAR Z.P.: Did you honestly seek God’s will and ask him to guide you before you made the decision to move? Or did you simply go ahead and make this decision on your own, and hope that somehow God would bless it?
Only you can answer this, of course, but I hope you will, because it could keep you from making the same mistake in the future. You see, God loves you; he made you and put you here, and he deeply cares what happens to you. That’s why you can turn to him and seek his will as you make decisions, instead of trying to impose your will on him. The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes” (Proverbs 3:5-7).
What should you do now? First, if you have never done so, turn to Jesus Christ and put your life into his hands. When you do, God will come to live within you by his spirit, and he will make you a member of his family forever. When we know Christ, we are never alone, because he is with us.
Then ask God to lead you to a church in your city where Christ is preached and lived. Not only will you grow in your faith, but you’ll meet others who love God and want to be your friend.
How does he know if ZP did ask God if he should take the job and move. If he's asking God why he let him move, and asking Graham this question, it's pretty likely he may have. Perhaps he 'asked God' and received a 'sign' that he precised as God giving him the green light. That's the funny thing with
confirmation bias. Somehow 'God' always wants what you want, likes what you like, and hates what you hate. So is it so hard to believe that he did ask for guidance, and then found a 'sign' that made him think that God was telling him to go for it?
And once more he's pressing on without knowing nearly enough to give helpful advice. ZP never mentions how long ago he moved. Maybe he expects too much, too soon. We also don't know what he has tried. Does he socialize after work? Does he go to social events and mingle? Did he look up local people with similar interests on meetup.com? Or is he just trying to make friends with co-workers? We know none of this. Maybe he is very religious and just expects God to grant him new friendships? Until we know more, it's very hard to help ZP out.
Billy is also ignoring the possibility that ZP is the problem. It sounds like ZP came from a small town (which tend to be more religious on average). There is the distinct possibility that he is approaching new co-workers asking if they've heard the 'good news', or is always saying Jesus this, and God that. Christian or not, that approach will make most people take a step back. If this is the case, telling ZP that he needs more Jesus will only hinder his search for friends more. If ZP is as religious as he
sounds, finding a church does sound key for him. But I would think that would be the first place he'd look. But maybe he's a member of a smaller sect, or sect that isn't represented in his new home. What if he left rural PA, and is a Mennonite? But now a Mennonite church is nowhere to be found where he now lives.
So, don't ask God why you can't make friends. Actually, don't ask God anything. He's not there and never was. Instead make informed choices, and take responsibility for your choices. Do that and ZP should be able to make himself more at home in his new town.
-Brain Hulk
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