Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Moved by a movie?

Wonderful... The new Left Behind movie isn't out until October 3rd, but some are already calling for people to go see it en masse. One of those promoting the film is a star (and I use that term very loosely) of the annoyingly moronic show Duck Dynasty. Willie Robertson is actually very excited for you to go see this movie, and even requests you take along members from a certain group...
Do you think I should tell him that his US flag bandana is
actually a violation of the United States Flag Code?
Let’s all make sure we bring some friends and family to see this movie – people who need to see to believe. Opening the door to unbelievers has never been this fun!
So he wants someone to take someone like me along to see this movie? Okay I guess... I mean, that's the only way I'll ever see it since I'm not going to waste my money on it. But why would he want atheists to go see a movie about something we don't even believe is going to happen?
Like most Christians, my family and I can truly say that we’re excited about the soon return of Jesus,...And I’m sure, if you’ve been watching the news lately, you know that that return could be any day from now.
Yup, any day now... Just like Christians have been saying for 2000 years. By the way, is anyone else disturbed that he's looking forward to the end of the world way too much?
But what about those who may not even know about it? People who don’t even know what’s at stake?
What about all the people in America that have never heard of the Christian rapture? Are there any!? I would certainly say that the vast majority of Americans are very much aware of what Christianity claims. But seeing how I've already lived through 47 end-times predictions, I'm not exactly worried...
Wait... This has Nicolas Cage in it? Maybe
it will be as persuasive as Ghost Rider.
After that I sold my soul to the Devil so
I could ride a demon motorcycle and have
a flaming skull for a head!
Take then to see this film, and naturally they’ll convert and be a-OK. It’s a warning to those, if it happened today, they’d be left behind,...And I believe people are going to make that life-changing decision to follow Christ on the way home from the theater on Oct. 3.
What!? Mr. Duck Impersonator (isn't that kind of like bearing false witness?) somehow equates people that need to see + seeing a movie = believer in Christ? You have got to be joking! Sorry, but watching a fictional movie is not seeing proof or evidence of any kind. Yes watching this movie is sure to make me follow Christ...

Why I remember how after watching Jurassic Park I went out and cloned a T-Rex. Then I watched Dracula and started believing in vampires. Then the fond memories of Harry Potter showing me that dragons are real and turning me into a boy wizard. And how could I ever forget that time I saw Narnia and proceed to step trough a magical wardrobe that was actually a doorway to another world!


-Brain Hulk

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